Apocalypse, Please
by Zonorous
Summary: When Edward and Bella return to Forks six years after Breaking Dawn, events unfold to give the series an ending that it truly warrants.
1. Chapter 1

Obligatory Disclaimer

I do not own any of the characters from the Twilight series. I do not own the town of Forks. I do, however, own "Paranormality, Inc.", and all affiliated characters.

Project is dedicated to Briana/Banana3/PrincessofPolitics.

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Chapter 1:

Isabella Cullen, formerly Isabella Swan, sat up quickly. Even after seven years, she was still very much in awe of how her life had progressed.

She glanced toward the resting form of Edward, who was relaxing after yet another round of the horizontal tango. Letting him think his own thoughts, she gracefully rose from the bed, idly draping a silk robe upon her self.

Walking out of the room, she glanced toward the open doorway that led to what had once been Renesmee's, before she had finally moved out to stay with Jacob. Both Bella and Edward, seeking to find their own path, had moved away from Forks hardly four years ago, and now stayed in Phoenix, Arizona.

Despite the cautioning of the other Cullens, Bella had been very adamant about wanting to return to this place. Even with the constant sun, they had managed to keep their existence a secret from prying eyes. Although, she laughed to herself at the thought, there would not be much that could be done even if they were noticed. It was not as though any humans could harm them, anyway. Not since they became vampires.

Stepping into the kitchen that they did not use, she idly glanced toward a calendar on the fridge. Her pale face faded to an even lighter shade.

"EDWARD!!"

Hearing her shriek, he dashed into the room, having only barely managed to retain the cognizance to put on his pants. His gaze darted quickly about the room to find the reason for her outcry. Not finding anything, he turned to her and asked, "What's the matter?"

"We're going to be late!" Already, she was bustling about, busying herself with some task that involved gathering things and shoving them into a sack.

"Late for what?" He tilted his head, watching her movements with a bemused expression on his face.

Stopping in her tracks, she stared at him wildly, wondering why he was not rushing, as well. "The reunion! Esme's going to be ticked if we don't show!"

Knowing she was right, but not entirely concerned as to whether Esme would be upset, Edward nodded before returning to the bedroom to gather any clothing they might need.

It was only a few moments before they were dressed, packed, and had their luggage loaded into the Guardian. Bella, still being uncomfortable with the over-sized sedan, made certain that Edward drove.

Despite the distance being a good day's journey, Edward's driving got them there in half the time. Having left at nine that morning, it was nine that evening as they pulled into a gas station in Forks to refuel before their arrival.

Bella remained inside the Guardian as Edward stepped out. He slid his black card into the machine and lifted the nozzle before inserting it into the vehicle. A scent caught his attention. It was both familiar yet foreign.

His attention was pulled to a black car on the other side of the fuel pump from him. Nondescript, it seemed of little importance except for the tinted windows that were so dark that nothing inside the vehicle could be seen. The person that had gotten out was the one the scent came from. Noticing that Edward was watching him, the man gave a two-finger salute, his silver eyes staring into Edward's golden.

"Evening." The man gave a polite nod, then returned to occupying himself with watching the ticker count to a rather absurd number. "Gotta love those gas prices, eh?"

Edward eyed him up and down, the man's black suit seeming to indicate that his mention of the prices was an attempt at friendly chit-chat. "I suppose." Edward's voice carried a tint of hostility. The eyes and scent had told him enough. The man was a werewolf. "You are not of the Quileute tribe."

A smirk was the initial response. "So you noticed. No, I'm not." Brushing his gray bangs back into his slick, black hair, he shrugged. "But what of it?"

Instead of answering, Edward focused on listening to the wolf's thoughts. What he heard, though, did not come from the werewolf, but from someone, something, inside the black car. Unlike the thoughts he was used to hearing, these were not audible words but a quiet whispering of many voices, speaking of many different things all at once, none of which were in any way connected so far as he could tell.

Seeing his expression, the werewolf grinned. "Ah, you must be the one called Edward. It's not very polite to invade people's privacy, you know."

Edward was taken aback and tried to block out the whispering, which had suddenly begun chanting his name. A chorus of laughter began to drown out the whispering, a blending of playful children and wicked, deranged cackles.

Not waiting for the fuel to stop, Edward ripped the nozzle from the car, slamming it back onto the pump. Almost tearing the door open, he jumped inside the Guardian, revved it, and sped away.

Bella stared at him in concern. "What's the matter?"

It was a good mile or so before Edward replied. "Something wasn't right. There was something in that car."

"What?" She looked back in the direction of the gas station, but they were already too far. "Why are you so bothered by it?" She glanced to him. "Nothing can harm us. The Quileutes stay on their reservation, and we'll be with the other soon. And you know the Volturi have stopped bothering us."

Edward grimaced before shaking his head. Swallowing hard, he nodded, before smirking to himself. "It was probably just some sort of scare tactic. The driver was a werewolf, but there wasn't enough room in the car for enough of them to be a threat." Flashing her a dazzling smile, he added, "And you're right. There's no need for concern."

A few moments later, they arrived at the Cullen mansion. Once parked inside the garage, Edward and Bella got out before unloading their luggage. Alice came out to greet them, her perky smile soon letting them forget what had happened at the gas station.

"I can't believe you two drove all this way! Wouldn't have been faster to take a plane?"

Bella nodded, then replied, "Yes, but we wanted to avoid being stuck around people as best we could."

Alice nodded in comprehension before leading the two inside. "You'll both be staying in Edward's old room. Jasper and Emmett were a bit put out. They'd rearranged it into a makeshift pool hall."

Edward rolled his eyes as he headed up the stairs, taking Bella's luggage as well so she could mingle with the others.

Jacob and Renesmee had already arrived, and were sitting on a couch beside one another when Bella walked in.

"Hey, mom!" Renesmee waved eagerly to her. Jacob simply nodded. Even now, it seemed that he still was not entirely comfortable with how things had turned out. However, he looked happy enough.

The next few hours were spent with catching up. Jasper, Emmett, and Alice had been taking classes at Bates in Tacoma, as it was the closest college in the state and they did not want to stray too far from the coven. Carlisle was still working at the local hospital. Jacob and Renesmee had decided to move to Calgary, but had, like Edward and Bella, returned to Forks for the reunion. Esme, as always, stayed at the coven to keep things in order, and Rosalie had simply been helping Esme.

A sudden knock at the door broke them all from their reverie. Edward and Bella glanced at each other. Carlisle rose and went to the door. The others looked to Alice, wondering why she hadn't said anything. Alice shrugged, indicating that she hadn't had any visions of visitors.

Everyone rose and went to windows to peek out, seeing the same nondescript black car that Edward had seen at the gas station. Edward swore under his breath.

Carlisle opened the door. The werewolf was there, but standing off to one side. Directly in front of the door, a man in an even finer suit stood silently, black eyes looking from one Cullen to another.

"Sorry to intrude. My name is Lauric Peklo. May I come in."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Edward, knowing that Carlisle was too taken aback to respond, quickly answered. "No." He pushed on the door, but instead of closing, the door shuddered violently as if it were going to shatter.

Mr. Peklo smiled pleasantly enough, but his tone was firm. "That was not a question."

Carlisle stepped aside as Mr. Peklo entered, but was going to keep the werewolf from entering.

"My driver stays with me. But you do not mind."

Emmett, flexing his muscles, stepped forward to get in the driver's way. "Perhaps we do?"

Mr. Peklo smirked. The mansion's power flickered, giving total blackout for only a brief second, but when the entryway was lit again, Emmett was on the floor with Mr. Peklo's foot on his chest. Despite his immense strength, he could not manage to get free.

The man looked down at him sternly. "You do not mind." He glanced around the room. "We will sit on the couches."

After what had just happened with Emmett, the others thought it best to be cautious, waiting to make any sort of a move when they had learned more about this stranger. Emmett grumbled under his breath, but paused when the driver offered him assistance.

"No hard feelings, eh?" The werewolf flashed a smile before joining the rest in the living room.

When they had all gathered, Mr. Peklo nodded before retrieving an envelope from within his suit coat. His motions slow and quite deliberate, he tore it open and removed its contents. It seemed as though he were enjoying the suspense, savoring the moment while taking his time with smoothing out the pages he now held.

"Before we begin, I would like to make certain that all have gathered. Please nod as I call your name. Stregoni Benefici, none."

There was total silence, everyone completely still.

Shaking his head, Mr. Peklo spoke again. "Stregoni Benefici, none." This time, he gave Carlisle a pointed glance.

Carlisle, realizing that he was being addressed by his human name, nodded. "How do you know that name? And what do yo-"

Mr. Peklo raised a hand. "I will answer any questions after I am sure everyone is here. Esme Anne Platt, or, if you prefer, Esme Anne Evenson. None."

Esme nodded, moving closer to Carlisle.

"Emmett McCarty, none."

Emmett nodded, fuming at having been beaten so quickly.

"Rosalie Lillian Hale, none."

Rosalie nodded, edging toward Emmett for security.

"Mary Alice Brandon, precognition, limited."

Alice swallowed, the reason for his saying 'none' after each name now being understood. Already standing beside Jasper, she nodded.

"Jasper Whitlock, empath."

Jasper nodded.

Mr. Peklo stifled a chuckle, then said, "Renesmee Carlie Cullen, telepath sending."

Renesmee nodded. Unlike the others, she was calm. This man may have defeated Emmett, but he could not stand against them all.

"Edward Anthony Masen, telepath receiving."

Edward nodded, frustrated. Despite his best efforts, he could not manage to hear anything the man was thinking. Even his driver could not be heard.

"Isabella Marie Cullen, formerly.." He snorted briefly before continuing. "Isabella Marie Swan, love shield."

Bella, annoyed by how he was obviously having a joke at her expense, nodded curtly.

Lowering the pages he held, Mr. Peklo looked calmly to Jacob. "Jacob Black, my business does not deal with you specifically. If you wish to remain with your family, that is your decision, and you will then become part of the events to come. I will let you decide whenever you like as to whether you wish to remain, as I know that your first inclination would be to stay. However, since your part in all of this is not of your making, even if you choose to stay, I will let you reconsider at any point you wish."

Jacob was about to speak up, but Carlisle beat him to it. "And just what is your business? How do you know our names?"

Mr. Peklo hesitated, choosing his words carefully. "My business? I am the Chief Executive Officer of Paranormality, Incorporated, a shadow enterprise designed to keep paranormal matters out of the public eye. Basically, my business is to keep secret things secret. I know your names because I never send in anyone unless I know all that can be known about the mission they will encounter."

Alice now inquired, "Why couldn't I see you coming?"

"You are the precog, yes? I should think that would be obvious." Raising a hand, he pointed to his driver. "I specifically selected a werewolf for my driver. After all, they scramble your foresight." Lowering his hand, he smiled pleasantly. "As you can see, I am very thorough."

This time, Jasper spoke up. "Paranormality, Incorporated? I've never heard of you."

Mr. Peklo laughed quite audibly. "That is the entire point of being a shadow enterprise. You will not find any information about us on the internet, and we do not exist in any official documentation, government or otherwise."

Emmett, eager to poke a hole in this man's story, stated, "You must not be doing a very good job at keeping paranormal matters out of the public eye. What about Area 51? Doesn't the government have hidden evidence there?"

"No."

"No?" Emmett blinked, deflated.

"As I stated, I am very thorough."

Edward raised his hand. "What are you? Why can't I read your mind?"

At this question, Mr. Peklo fell silent. His face was unreadable except for the faintest hint of a smirk on the corners of his mouth. "What I am would take much too long to explain in a manner that would allow for you to be satisfied. Why you cannot read my mind hinges on said lengthy explanation. The gist of it is that my mind is not limited to this location, and thus it is not necessarily within your telepathic radius. Now, I will take one last question and then I shall state precisely why I am here."

Renesmee lifted her hand, mimicking her father's gesture. "If you are the head of your organization, why did you come here in person?"

"Ever the prodigy, eh?" He examined her briefly before answering. "Because of doing my homework, I understood that it would be unwise to send in any of my field agents by themselves, as you would not listen to them and simply drive them away, causing me to have to come out here, regardless. I could not very well send the exterminator, because he would not have even given you the opportunity to understand the weight of the situation before doing what he does best.

"No, it was the best choice for me to come here, myself." He watched their faces as his words were processed. Picking the pages up once again, he sighed. "In any case, to business. Stregoni, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Mary, Jasper, and Edward are all charged with Public Awareness under Faerie subtext 3-2.

"Stregoni and Edward are charged with existential interference under Faerie subtext 3-5. Edward and Isabella are charged with ignoring the implications of human biology when breeding. Mary, Jasper, and Edward are charged with Privacy Invasion, Jasper and Edward under Pathy subtext 2-4 and Mary under Cognition text 8.

"All of you, aside from Jacob, of course, are charged with the altering of local ecosystems by driving down the population of natural predators as well as endangered species. Edward is charged with over nine-thousand counts of disregard for traffic laws.

"And last, but not least, Renesmee is charged with, for lack of a better term, being so fucked up that I couldn't decide where to start in listing the charges against your existence. The only recourse for amending the situation is termination of Renesmee and the rest of you exiling yourselves from any sense of society until three generations have past in order to ensure that stories of you have become nothing more than folklore. Standard procedure, you understand."

He folded the pages and placed them on the table for the Cullens to read at their leisure. "Any questions?"

Everyone was silent. They were each trying to make sense of what had been said. Esme, not having said anything so far, was the first to speak. "I believe you're mistaken. You said that we were charged under 'fairy'? We're vampires."

Mr. Peklo glanced to her, then shook his head. "No, you are not. You are faeries."

Bella countered, "But we drink blood. Don't tell me you believe all those folk stories."

Mr. Peklo stared icily toward Bella, his eyes suddenly nothing more than depthless black. "The interesting thing about every tale is that they are always based upon an element of truth. Do you truly believe that vampires are the only creatures of myth that are carnivorous? Daemons, a subclass of faeries, would often require blood in order to maintain their form.

"Faeries also wield various aspects of prescience, such as reading thoughts or seeing the future, not to mention the various telekinetic abilities they are more known for. On top of that, faeries often have an almost impenetrable outer layer as well as immense strength and speed. Make no mistake, you are faeries."

Edward now piped up. "But vampires are creatures of folklore, so who are you to say what is or isn't a vampire?"

Mr. Peklo's gaze now shifted to Edward. "You say that you are creatures of folklore, and think you cannot be classified, yet you exist. The classification of a vampire is as follows. It must survive off of the life force of another being, whether through blood or otherwise. Without said life-force, they will cease to be animated. If any of you does not feed, you will simply become ravenous and then weak, but you will not die. You will simply continue to hunger until you feed. You are not vampires."

Renesmee now spoke up. "Why do I have to die? And why do they need to stay hidden?"

Shaking his head in irritation, Mr. Peklo replied, "As I said, your existence is too fucked up to continue. You are, essentially, an angel in mortal form, and such a being is not permitted. Make no mistake," he added before anyone could say anything, "you are all, every last one of you, mortal. You are capable of being destroyed through physical means, and that does not match up with the classification of an immortal."

Rising to his feet, Mr. Peklo motioned to his driver. "Go start the car. We are leaving." As the werewolf did as instructed, Mr. Peklo turned to the Cullens and stated, "You have until tomorrow evening to make your decision. After that, we will take action. Jacob Black, take this time to consider your choice."

Once in his car, Lauric Peklo sighed in exasperation, twisting his neck until it popped loudly.

"Sir," his driver asked, "do you really think they will do as instructed?"

"Of course not." Lauric frowned, retrieving his cell phone. "They never do." Pressing for speed dial five, he spoke as calmly as he could manage. "Notify the exterminator. His handler will provide him with the pertinent information. Method of destruction will be determined later. Assignment begins in two days."


End file.
